We all have our own way to view the perfect relationship, but in all cases forming a positive and trusting partnership requires time and effort. And that’s a good thing, that we can work (control) the level of connection and romance within our relationship. So you need to put out some work to grow a strong duo and to keep it that way. I compacted 10 routines you can apply now and make it happen.
1. Communicate effectively
Communication is the key. If you want a healthy and forever relationship, the way you talk to each other is essential. Even if you are not great at communicating in general, you can learn to proper exteriorize the way you feel and think. Happy couples are those that already mastered how to communicate with each other. They express the good part, the qualities. They show their love vocally, saying “I love you” often and compliment their partner. It’s also important to know when and how to discuss the bad and never ignore the problems. If you want that deep level of relationship and make it even deeper, you need to be able to express how you feel. It doesn’t matter how awkward it feels or even sometimes a bit hurtful, expressing your feelings will give you a forever lasting, healthy and strong relationship.
2. Respect your partner
At a deep level, people want respect more than compliments or gifts. We all want it and we all deserve it. So it’s essential to respect your significant other (If you are a guy learn to respect any woman in your life. That’s how gentlemen do). Respect comes in a lot of forms. But basically means to notice and accept your partner’s needs, wishes, character, time and trust. Most importantly, respect their feelings. You have to remember that your significant other voluntarily opened heart for you, and we all know how fragile our feelings can sometimes be. Also, respect the fact your spouse is your choice and you are his/hers.
Things to avoid are those that break down the respect between you two: name-calling, talking secrets/bad things from within couple to friends and family, or threatening to leave the relationship. If you get angry it’s better not to talk at all, and wait until you calm down. All the problems you need to fix it’s just between the two of you and nobody else. Never try to inflict fear, a relationship is there to give love and commitment.
3. Time spent together should have quality over quantity
Don’t get confused here. I saw some couples breaking up after years of marriage and all they’ve thought about the whole time was “well, if we got this much time that means we are never breaking up.” The most important thing about the time you spend with your mate is the quality of it. It’s a very big difference between having a dinner and talk about how your day went off, sharing feelings, thoughts; and sitting on the couch eating while watching a TV show. I know enjoying distractions from time to time is ok, but on a daily basis you must spend quality time together and maintain a deep level of connection between.
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4. Spending time apart
It’s kind of counter-intuitive, but couples who spend too much time together from start tend to not have a healthy relationship. It’s important to spend some time apart, to be independent and pursue your own dreams. Because in a couple it’s more about joining two roads in one and not completely remove your own paths. You should have healthy boundaries and some autonomy to create a forever lasting partnership. A loving relationship is about commitment and sacrifice, so we should be able to give up pleasure for the sake of our marriage. But I think when it comes to the profession or our work, we must find a balance between pursuing our own dream and also pursue our relationship dream (our goal on how we want our relationship to become).
5. The 5 love languages
Gary Chapman wrote about this amazing concept of couples having five love languages. The whole idea is that we all have unique ways to feel loved. The five love languages are: quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts and physical touch. You need to discuss and adapt each one of these love languages with your partner because you both might have different needs when it comes to it. So it’s crucial to consistently use these languages to show your significant other how much-loved is. Also teach your partner how to make you feel loved. This will create and maintain a deep passion for each other.
6. Appreciate your loved one
We should always remember to show the people we love how much we appreciate them for being part of our lives. In a romantic relationship is even more important. So, always remember to show your partner how much you love him/her. This could mean by words, flowers, cards, small gifts or even running at him/her when you get home and give a big hug like you’ve been gone for a year. Hold your special one tight and will never let go.
7. Positive VS negative
We should not let us be caught in the negative. If we dislike something about our job, we change it. If we dislike something about ourselves, we change it. It’s the same thing about our relationship. Maybe sometimes we want more attention, more romance or just more hugs. We can express our need in a lovely way, with soft and firm words. Also, always remember that nobody is perfect and our partner doesn’t make an exception. So we should focus on the good things, on the qualities and what attracted us in the first place. We must make a conscious effort to look at the bright side.
8. Pick your “battles”
We all have some things we desire and need. A disagreement might happen within a couple. It’s natural, the way things are and sometimes even healthy if you know how to express it. First things first: we all have different points of view and that’s a good thing. There are some important things that we need to discuss, mainly those that involve our future as a couple or person. Life choices need to be discussed.
What movie do you want to watch tonight? Not a reason to an argument at all. One day you please and one day you get pleased. Easy. Also , remember that any important discussion should be done with calm and in a loving way. Choose your topics well and how you deliver them, that’s how healthy and strong couples do.
9. Sexy time
Oh yeah, baby! Making love is one of the most important parts of your relationship. Is the physical act of expressing your love. Sex is simple. The more you have it, the more you want it. It also goes the other way around – the less you have it, the less you want it. Sex is crucial to maintaining the passion and connection in a couple. So never stop flirting, complimenting and spark that passion in bed with your loved one. Don’t forget to spice it up also, to not letting it become boring.
10. Never compare
Don’t get confused by the illusion of grass been greener on the other side. Even if it is, the key is to make your grass better not change your home. Any relationship can be improved and that’s the beauty of it. You can always make it better ! But you need to do this together. You are never allowed to compare your partner with someone else. He/she is your special one, can’t be compared. The only time you are allowed to look on other couples is when you look together or by yourself ways to improve your relationship. In any other time, focus on appreciating what you have and how special it is.
There you have it. These were 10 tips that you can apply regularly and reinforce your love life. Please remember that keeping your relationship brimming and loving it’s a continuous process.
We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.