You know that belief: opposites attract? Luckily enough, we are not magnets. So that’s wrong. Everyone around you, starting from friends, co-workers, soul mate etc, are a result of your personal choice. Either if you realize it or not, those with whom you spend your time with will influence who you become. If you HAVE to spend time with somebody, that’s ok. But if you choose to spend time with somebody, that’s who you become.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
― Jim Rohn
This amazing quote simply stated one thing: you become like those people you surround yourself with. Everyone else besides your mom and dad, you choose to have around you.
Now that we’ve cleared this out, we will discuss the importance of being picky and cutting off people who intoxicate your life with negative thoughts and actions. I have to tell you from the start that I love all people and I can’t wish more that every person changes their lives into a positive perspective and achieve their potential.
But I have also learned that some people don’t want to change. You see, we all have this amazing power of choice. That means you can’t forcefully change somebody into good. That has to be their personal choice.
Not even God doesn’t alter our free will. With this in mind now you realize why you have to understand that some people are not meant to be part of your life. If they don’t have the same positive perspective, if they don’t have the same principles of life, the same ideals, the same willingness to become better with every step, that means they are not welcomed into your life. Because you don’t want and you won’t encourage the type of behaviors that you don’t find right.
It’s even more than this. Those with whom you spent your time with are your choice and that choice is shaping you into a type of person. If you just go over your self-esteem, your ideals, your principles, your character, your soul, and you just accept anybody into your life, you are going to feel awful because that will result in having no character at all.
The reasons like: “oh, they know my parents”,”we went to school together” or “hey, they’ve said they like me” are not good enough to spend your precious time with somebody. Yes, your time is precious, like it’s mine and everybody’s else. Some people might let anyone invade their space, time and feelings, but don’t be you that person.
Toxic people mean those types of individuals that don’t want to progress, don’t want to succeed, don’t see life from a positive perspective and don’t want to love others.
You simply don’t want to carry around this type of persons. We don’t have anything against them but we don’t want them around us either.
What you encourage, you become
Simple as that. The type of behaviors you encourage is the type of behaviors you accept into yourself. If you spent time with people who waste their life in front of the TV, guess what, you will do the same. It doesn’t matter if they are relatives or old friends. If something they do bothers you or go against your heart and principles, you should tell them to change or remove them from your life.
If somebody truly loves you will take note of what you said and will do better just to keep you around. After a while, they will realize that was for the best. But most of the people will negatively react to your new-found or expressed principles. And that’s ok. You should just understand that you weren’t fitted to spent time together and move on.
You should always be a positive example
A positive person values people around them but also values their own time, principles, heart, and ideals. When somebody simply goes against everything you are and everything you stand for, you have all the right to say: “I don’t want to spend time with you anymore”. You realize you have nothing in common and you won’t compromise yourself just to keep them near.
A person with a character never goes against their principles, even if that means they will lose touch with somebody they love.
Time spent with negative people is time lost that could be spent on people who deserve it
You see, there are and there always will be a lot of people who needs and deserve your attention and time. The problem is: if you spent time dealing with toxic individuals, you don’t have time to spend it with those that matter.
Not only that you will suffer because you don’t move on and set out boundaries, but all those that love you will suffer. You have to understand clearly that there are false claims of needing you besides real people that need you.
People who truly loves you, aspire to be like you, people who go in the same direction, people who really value your time and your attention, these are the people who deserve your attention. Don’t waste it on something else.
Spending time with toxic people is poisoning your body, mind, and heart
You need people around you that inspire you to greatness. That kind of people who makes you want to achieve more, serve more, love more and be more. Anything else is just toxic waste that you don’t need.
Accepting people with bad habits in your life will pour those habits into you. You will feel the same effects and you will suffer deeply. Trust me, I’ve been there. Like I’ve said earlier, these people don’t want to change and they probably even believe that you are weird. Selfish people always believe that they are perfect. That’s their choice, but the point is you shouldn’t voluntarily spend time with them.
When you meet somebody that you realize they are in the wrong direction, and you try to educate them to achieve and be more, that’s ok. I do that all the time. Still, if you accept a person that is in the wrong direction and you don’t do anything to change them, and even stimulate their bad behaviors, you become a part of it. You will feel like them, think like them and eventually, you will do like them.
Don’t be afraid of loneliness. If there will be time for you to be lonely, use that time to shape yourself into the greatest version of you without any other distractions. But those times will pass by quickly. You will find and attract people who are like you, go in the same direction, have the same principles and visions, and want to achieve greatness also.
You will only find and attract them when you will be strong enough about your own self and how you want to be. When you will have clear standards about what you accept in your life and what not, then you will find people like you.
If you accept people who you don’t agree with, you will constantly doubt yourself and who you want to be. You will be insecure, depressed and weak. That’s not something you want in your life.
The people who love you needs you strong. The world needs you strong. So be strong and surround yourself with like-minded individuals.