I love this subject because I’ve come to the conclusion that tough times are happening to shape us into stronger and better human beings. But I have to admit that in the beginning, I had also had the reflex of dealing negatively with a bad event. And that was affecting my emotions, my mind, and my life. So I’ve learned how to see the good in any bad situations and I will teach you to do the same.
There are some things that are not in our control. Things that come from the outer world sometimes it gets randomly unpleasant. Sometimes, it hails on your crops. But the inner world we control it all the time: how we feel about it, how we react to it and how we think about it. This is how you can deal with a tough situation and find motivation in it.
1. See it how it is and face the reality
This is the first step in dealing with an unpleasant event: see it as it is, not worst! Sometimes we tend to make things look worst than they are and that is not helpful at all. We need to see it exactly how it is, not better and not worst. What happened? This happened and that happened. I face the reality that it did happen and I understand that is not my decision what happens to me, but is totally my decision how I react to it.
2. See it as a challenge
After I face the reality and understood what really happened, now I just see it as a challenge that I accept. Everything shape us. If you think about it, most of the tough events come to shape us into a better person. They make us stronger, more loving, more compassionate, more sensitive, more hopeful.
Is like going to the gym and pushing that resistance called gravity to build your muscles. Pushing life resistance shapes our souls, our characters, and our mindset. Besides that, if I see it as a challenge I get joyful motivation. You feel like a kid when you got your hands on the first puzzle. Is so exciting! Feeling like James Bond. Isn’t it wonderful that we can find excitement in a difficult situation?
3. Find a solution
Here’s the deal: I don’t agree with those that say you just need to ignore the bad experience that happens into your life. Just ignore the critics, bad events, breakups and so on. I think it will ruin our lives in the long-term. If you ignore the weeds growing in your garden, you will find your garden overrun by them. What I recommend, after seeing it as it is and treating it as a challenge, now it’s time to find a solution. Because that’s the point of it.
It’s time to take some actions to change the situation. If we were talking about the example I kept mentioning, it’s time to get rid of the weeds, obviously. But sometimes it’s a bit more challenging to find a solution. That’s why I get so excited that it puzzles me right? I also understand that are some situations we can’t change, some things that are out of our reach, and in this case, the solution is to change our attitude towards it. To get a better meaning, a better view and a fresh set of emotions towards it. This time positive emotions.
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4. Transform yourself
This is the end point of any negative experience we have in our lives. They transform us into a better person or worse. The decision is ours. We see people going through tragic events, like losing their loved one because of a disease. And they make a foundation, researching more about that disease to help saving other people. They transformed something bad in something good. That’s the amazing power we have inside. But most importantly, we transform ourselves. We become better because we know much more. We become stronger because we overcome great obstacles. We become more sensitive towards the pain of others because we faced pain ourselves. We become more loving because we know how it feels to be unloved. And the list can continue to infinite.
I think it is safe to say that if we don’t have problems we don’t have a life! At the end of the days all we want is a better quality of the problems, to transform us into a better quality human being. I don’t say we want tragic events, but we all want and need the puzzles that come in our lives to shape us, the challenges, the struggles. Because we know: the greater obstacles we have the greater person we become. And the greater person we become the greater life we will have. No one gets a better life if nothing happens!
What past negative experience do you recall that made you a better person? Share it with us in the comments.