I think the most common reason people have emotional issues is that they don’t know how to heal or simply ignore the emotional scars they have. If you have a physical wound, you will do your best to treat it and help it heal. Either we don’t know how to or we simply believe we can’t heal our souls, we will just leave our hearts even more exposed to pain.
I’ve been there. I’ve been wounded and I was also used to simply ignore my pain. That made it worst and I always ended up doing, even more, things that hurt me and those around. It’s like you are getting on an emotional kamikaze dive. You don’t care if it hurts you and you don’t care if you still do the things that hurt you. In fact, you don’t want to admit you care. Trying to have no feelings is like trying to have no oxygen: you just can’t do it if you want to be alive.
That’s why is very important to know how to treat your emotional wound. That’s because if you don’t, this will affect everything in your life, including your relationships. You can lose the ones you love just because you are too wounded and you hurt them back unintentionally. You can lose your job because you are not productive anymore, you can lose your dream because it’s hard to have hope, you can lose everything. Yes, is that serious! Emotional scars are deep because we are emotional creatures. We need to know how to heal our hearts!
Here is how you do it:
- Find the reason for your wound. Find the exact reason. Not making it worse, not making it better. Pinpoint the event that made you feel pain. You know how they say: understanding your problem is the first step of resolving it. Try to get the clearest vision possible. Don’t blame other people, they might hurt you without even knowing it. Just try to focus on the event. For example: If you ever been cheated don’t try to blame the person only. It’s the situation you don’t like. So I would say something like” It hurts me to be cheated on and I will never accept it again”. It changed my beliefs, my life, the way I am, what I want and what I will forbid to happen again. It brings the situation to a point where you can control it. If you give the reason to other people’s actions, that’s out of your reach! Ok? We can’t control anyone but ourselves. As a point: I can’t control what other people do to me, but I can learn to avoid the types of people who might hurt me. Or I can avoid the situation entirely by being more loving and compassionate. Make it something YOU can change.
- Learn the lesson from the pain. It’s always a lesson in pain. In fact, pain acts as a teacher in life. Tells us what we don’t like, what we don’t want and what we should avoid. Makes us stronger, wiser, but also more compassionate and caring about people around us. That’s because now we know how it feels to be hurt, so we would be more caring for those that are in pain around us. Don’t try to avoid pain. Honestly. It’s an amazing teacher and it’s part of life. Think of all good things that comes from pain: a mother gets through pain to bring a new life into this world, an athlete gets through pain to make his body stronger from training, successful people get through pain of discipline to get where they want, forever lasting couples gets through the struggle of building a lasting relationship. Everything good comes from pain, struggle, commitment, discipline and work. Find your lesson and become better!
- Change yourself into a better person. Now it’s to apply what you’ve learned. Now it’s time for you to make something good out of your wound. Now it’s time for you to progress and become a better human being. Either if it makes you stronger, more caring, more loving, more compassionate about people surrounding you, it must be a positive effect that you bring with that pain. Let’s give you a personal example: I grew up without a father because my dad died 1 month before I was born. And I’ve missed a father figure for all my childhood and that affected me deeply. But at one point I realized I have to make something good out of that pain, out of that deep missing. And I said to myself: “Because I know how much it hurts to not having a father, I promise to myself I will be the best father in the world for my kids. I will always be there for them, when they need and how they need. Period.” That transformed me into a better person. So, I took something negative and I turned it around and made it positive. That’s the secret of happiness.
Was this article helpful for you? What lessons you take from here and apply to your life? Share it with us in the comments.