Standards are life guidelines that you automatically follow and seek.
It’s that set of rules which dictates: this is how I want my life to be and I won’t settle for anything less. They are the foundation of a happy relationship because they are the foundation of human beings.
Our character, the way we dress, what we have, what we do in our free time, how we love; everything is connected with standards. We will deeply debate in this article the importance of these principles in our love life.
You must love your standards
Because that’s how you love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, as a person, you won’t be able to love other people. Without this ability, any kind of relationship will suffer. So it’s very important to love what standards you have. You must have the ability to look in the mirror and be proud of what kind of person you are.
Not in an egotistical “I’m one of a kind” way. But in a way that makes you feel secure, confident, strong, and willing to share these traits with other people. That means basically: the first step is to set standards you will love to have.
Don’t settle, even when we talk about your own guidelines. Don’t choose those that are easy, commonly agreed upon or likable. In fact, there will be many cases your standards will break some relationships while reinforcing others. It’s part of life: those who share the same ideals will come around, those who don’t will quickly leave. That’s the main reason we have standards, to filter what we want in life and what it’s around us.
The link between standards and confidence
Confidence is very important for a relationship, don’t you think? Insecurities feed the ego, jealousy, and selfishness. Confidence is a strong amplifier of love. The more secure you are in your own strengths and abilities, the more you are capable of giving the best of you for those you love.
Having high-quality standards makes you strongly confident, and that will make you the best lover. And when you spread the love at the highest level you will get it back even more.
Standards are the strongest bond
Relationships fall apart, not because of the lack of love, but because of the lack of compatibility in standards. This basically means that one of the partners want different things from life than the other. It’s like you both follow different roads but somehow you try to make it in the same direction. Obviously, it won’t work.
While love and passion can keep people together for a while, they will eventually feel unfulfilled and they will seek their own happiness.
On the positive side, partners with the same life guidelines have the strongest and forever lasting relationships. Because there’s nothing more beautiful than having the person who loves you share the same ideals. That means you both going in the same direction, happily together, building a loving marriage along the way.
Never settle for less
Life is too short to settle for less than you want. Your dreams and passions should be pursuit. Your goals must be reached. There’s no reason in this world to settle for less. This is also a rule for lovers.
We all want and deserve a person who truly loves us for what we are as humans, and that means loving us for our standards because they define us.
It’s not just an egoistically point of view because you won’t be the only one to suffer. If you don’t share the same ideals you will both suffer deeply and feel empty. Do you want the person who you love to be unhappy? Definitely not. You want them to be happy, either if that happiness includes you or not. Encourage your lover to respect their own standards by respecting your own.
Give your loved one chances to rise up to your expectations
There is a case where maybe you changed your standards (or realized you have them) while being in a relationship for a while. Part of our morals is also compassion, so we won’t just kick somebody out of our lives because we suddenly woke up from hibernation. If our loved one has intentions to rise up to our standards, love demands that we should allow that chance and have the patience to see it happen.
In fact, there are also situations where one of the partners rise up the other one’s standards from beginning.
It’s a beautiful thing to see how love helps people progress. So we should be kind teachers. If you are the one with highest standards, you are a teacher. You provide an example to follow because you are basically a leader. Have patience for your loved one to meet up your standards, as long as you see intention and progress. Your partner will be deeply grateful for your patience.
Standards must define what you want to receive but also what you need to give
Like I’ve mentioned about, standards are not selfish. We don’t set up goals to be demanding, asking for that and the other. These expectations are primarily for ourselves and our lives. That means we have to reach them first in order to ask them. We have to know what we need to offer in order to receive what we want.
Life is the result of our own actions.
That’s why Jim Rohn said that to change your life you have to change yourself. You have to develop some traits and offer emotions to receive what you want. Love is a lot like an amplified mirror. You get what you ask for but also what you deserve. You get what you give amplified.
So when you set up your love standards and decide what you want from your partner and marriage, think about the traits and skills you must have in order to get all you want. What kind of person do you need to be? In what way you need to love to receive what you want? How much passion, honesty, commitment and pleasing you have to put on the table? These are the goals you have to meet in order to deserve what you want.
As a final note, standards are the foundation of relationships, where you build a loving marriage that lasts forever. They are the glue that keeps two people together. They are the road that two individuals follow side by side.
What changes will you apply from this article to your relationship and what is the greatest insight you found here? Share it with us in the comment. Have a forever lasting relationship with your soul mate! 💑