I know how much it hurts when our souls get shattered into pieces, but it is an inevitable process of emotional progress. That means: if you want to feel more love and have more love to share from within you, you have to go through these sculpting events.
There are also tragedies that we can’t control and it’s so sad when it happens. Still, what if you can take any heartbreaking moment and make it an opportunity to make a better version of yourself? You will be having a better life, filled with more love, joy, and fulfillment.
Why is important to rebuild yourself?
The question is pretty basic, still, not everyone knows the answer. When it comes to your emotions, there’s a certain level of experience required. Just like any other area of your life. I mean, you don’t expect to be an F1 driver from the first time you enter a car. Or you don’t expect to play Für Elise by Beethoven as soon as your fingers touch a piano. You know that there is a learning process involved, trying and developing, learning and applying, until your work becomes mastered. Is the same thing with love.
Why do we even expect to know how to love from the start? To know how to choose the ones we trust, how to give ourselves without forgetting about own-self, how to achieve the deepest level of passion and love? You aren’t born with these. You don’t come into this world as a ready-to-love husband or wife. You come as newborn, that has to develop, learn and grow.
When our hearts are immature, there’s a certain limit to our love capabilities.
Our soul is like a vessel that holds the happiness, love, and compassion, as we go on with our lives doing our best to share what we carry. But like you can imagine, at first, there’s a limit. We can love until a certain point. That’s why we need these hurtful experiences to sculpt our souls, to make ourselves more loving and happy than we were before. To experience more and to share more. When our heart gets broken, we can take the pieces and build a new one, that is much stronger and it has more room for love.
I love a quote from Mother Teresa that says:
“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” – Mother Teresa
I experienced that on my own. As I managed to go over my limit, beyond the place where I felt pain and suffering because I was loving deeply those around me, and of course, not everybody responds the same way that I want; I was able to love on a more deep level. I was able to share joy, compassion and pure unconditional love without expecting something back. That’s what true love is, right? Unconditional. That means it doesn’t require to get something in return. We need to feel loved, but that doesn’t mean we only share love where we get it from. Because, where would our accomplish will be there? As Bible inspired us:
32″If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.” 33″If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.” Luke 6
So it’s essential to reshaping our hearts to be able to love much deeply and with much greater experience. Because we need experience in here also. It’s not something you master without practice. And if you practice it, of course, there will be times when you screw it up. Therefore, will be times when your heart will be broken. By something that a person did and you didn’t expect, some tragic event or your lack of protection or awareness towards how emotions are.
I have to say something important: there are some people who spent their life trying to take advantage of other people’s emotional weaknesses. It’s sad and regretful that somebody would want to do that, but there are people like this. And while we love everybody the same, including our enemies, it’s important to have a sense of reality when it comes to your ability to trust or not a person.
You see, the only time when we get really hurt it’s when we let our guard down. When we expect that the other person love us the same way we do and it’s not the case, that’s when we get the most shattered. There is a big difference between love and trust. You can love someone without trusting that person, and you can trust somebody without love. When you love somebody, you let your heart light up their heart. But when you trust somebody, you put your heart into their hands, knowing they will take care of it. That’s the difference between these two.
Love doesn’t make you vulnerable. Not knowing whom to trust does that.
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You soul needs the healing time.
You might think: “Hey it’s ok. If my heart gets broken, I try to focus on something else and leave it to self-repair”. And that would be a good way of thinking if our emotional wounds would be the same as a physical wound. But even a physical wound needs to be treated and helped to heal itself. If you just leave your wound open like that, you are exposed to infections and others threats. Because the shield that protects the skin is broken, and it needs to be repaired.
That’s also the case with our hearts. If we leave our emotional wounds untreated, we will be exposed to threats. Like I’ve said earlier, there are people who exploit emotional weakness. We also can have addictive and destructive habits in our attempt to cope with the emotional pain. Either way, that emotional weakness don’t get fixed, and even worst than that, it gets much more painful. That’s why you have an emotional weakness. You are not born with it. You got that from a certain experience, and it’s still there because you didn’t spend time rebuilding your heart.
No! It’s not going to heal itself. No! Somebody that will deeply love can’t heal it for you. You are the only one responsible for your emotions and the state in which your heart is. You can be helped, cherished, taught and nurtured, but it’s still your task to do.
We are totally responsible for what feelings we have, and what we have is what we share with those that we care about the most. While you might think that drowning yourself in emotional pain and leaving your wound untreated is something heroic, think about the fact that you could instead be loving and enthusiastic for those around you.
Unconditional love… that’s what I call heroic. 💖